


lovedust

by pyakpyaknation



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Chef J, Drs', Long-Distance, M/M, Moving On, Reconciliation, Romance, cue author wailing rn, im sorry crying emojisx100, it wasnt beta’d when i uploaded it, now it is, pls dont ask i know, slight angst ?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-21 12:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21075050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyakpyaknation/pseuds/pyakpyaknation
Summary: Who would've thought a sweater and some spice blend would heal one's wounds and bring them together again.





	lovedust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peachyyyboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachyyyboy/gifts).

> I really enjoyed working on this (•ө•)♡  
It seriously pushed me to get this down and done, and hopefully I didn't disappoint u.u  
Enjoy Ella and every jaewin admirer out there!
> 
> *just recently adjusted the timeline :)

_[ Jaehyun’s Schedule for today: get up, eat breakfast, get coffee, head to the restaurant, file some paperwork, work, and come home ]_

**9:30 am**

Sicheng woke up, sunlight filtering through the chick-patterned curtains, a reminder to the night his excited cousin twisted his ankle trying to do the dougie. He let out a long yawn and stretched his arms above his head. Rubbing at the rheum in his groggy eyes, he looked over to the digital clock blinking at him with no remorse. Fuck.

In no time, he whipped the covers off his bed and threw on this pair and that (appropriately for the day to come), slipping on a slightly oversized grey velour hoodie and dashing out. Wait. He quickly ducked back into his room to grab his bag and then ran for the life of him. He was late. And by late, he was half an hour late. A record for him since that one time at- _Doyoung was going to kill him_. For sure. No doubt. Interrogation not needed. He had an acute instinct that the older knew he had overslept by the time his long lithe legs arrived the dermatology office. Running to the door with a gold seal engraved with the name _Dr. Dong Sicheng_, he didn’t spare a glance to his fellow co-worker’s annoyed expression.

“30 minutes is yet another astounding record Sicheng,” Doyoung sighed, leaning against the threshold of the door with arms crossed.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry. Rough night yesterday,” he lied, as his eyes widened when he realized he had forgotten his phone charger as he was rummaging through his bag. With his back still turned, he quickly popped a mint into his mouth before organizing his file-ridden desk.

“What’d boss make you do? It wasn’t to pick up Pat’s clients was it? I saw that old woman this morning having a grand ole’ time when she called out sick-sick yesterday,” Doyoung grumbled in irritation, pushing himself off the threshold and walking closer to Sicheng.

“Mmm,” that wasn’t quite the truth. Whole truth that is. He did have to pick up one client from the older lady, but that was it as he had gone straight home and binge watched anime until 5 am.

“I did have to pick up one…” he trailed off discreetly, finally shedding his velour hoodie and putting on his lab coat.

Doyoung’s eyes squinted at the article of clothing and he shook his head, stepping towards the doorway, “I can’t believe you still have that thing,” he said with a monotone voice.

Sicheng merely shrugged and turned to open the shutters, “I’m leaving early around 3pm today, I have to pick my younger brother up from a field trip,” Doyoung says before turning to go back to his office.

“Tell Jeno I said hi.”

“Yeah.”

Sicheng sighed as he looked outside onto the grass and weeds flourishing around the office property. His fingers drifted instinctively onto the sweater lying on top of the chair he draped it over. It was soft and nice to the touch. Smooth, almost- there was a few knocks on his open door and he quickly snatched the sweater up to stash in the closet.

“Doctor? Yerim and her mother are here for their 10:00 appointment.”

“Ah, thank you Sophie, I’ll be out in just a bit,” he smiled at the secretary before taking one last look at the hoodie and stuffing it away.

_[ Update on Jaehyun’s status: Jaehyun is still working. ]_

**5:30 pm**

Sicheng had clocked out, bidding his co-workers good night, and was driving home. The warm sweater making him feel relaxed despite the backup of cars. He distractedly brushed his fingers against the soft velvet-like fabric as the radio buzzed faintly in the empty vehicle. His heart ached, he did miss home in times like these. Driving home from work- alone, with no one in the passenger’s seat, and no one to go home to, expect his grey tabby, Siu Mai.[1] He missed the company of his younger brother and friends he had back at home. _In Seoul._  


But Seoul was a long ways away, seventeen hours away, on the other side of the planet as he worked away in the little medical office of his (his boss’, but all in all, his world). And home wasn’t in Seoul. Not anymore.

He willed himself to not think about the pain that came with the name and memories as he finally pulled into the dark house. Gathering his things, he stepped into the silent home and flickered on the lights.

“Mai-mai, I’m home,” he cooed, shuffling his shoes off and dropping his bag on the couch. He switched on the television, a habit of his to fill in the void of silence. He heard the pitter-patter of small paws crawl out from behind the curtains and his mouth curled into a smile. He checked the fridge uselessly and pulled out the pasta from yesterday. It still looked salvageable to him and he placed it in the microwave before stooping down to scratch his cat’s neck.

The grey tabby purred as it nuzzled against the soft fabric, “I know, it’s really soft right?” he cooed. As if the tabby could understand, she pawed at his arm.

“What is it Mai-mai?” he said, picking her up and placing her on the kitchen island, taking out his steaming pasta from out the radioactive heating box, blowing on it.

“Huh? What is it Siu Mai?” he repeated taking a fork out and eating his dinner. The cat meowed at him before stalking off into the solace of the empty house. Into one of the many dark rooms. Shaking his head, he continued to eat until his phone pinged, probably a message from Doyoung.

> _Dr DoDo: Just got home with Jeno!_  
_Dr Win: Wait just now?_  
_Dr DoDo: Nah, we stopped by Yong’s house for a bit. I had to pick up the spare lab coat I left there lol_

Sicheng’s thumb hovered over his keyboard, before he set it down. He couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of jealousy and sadness. It was nine months for god sakes. The doctor shook his head and shoved the remaining pasta into his mouth.

> _Dr Win: That’s good lol_  
_Dr Win: Did you guys eat yet?_  
_Dr DoDo: Yeah! Had Yong’s special kimchi fried rice @.@ We should all hang out soon! Get a little taste of home again yk_

He let out an involuntary sigh. Triggered. Again. He couldn’t let this bother him like this when he already claimed he was “fine” after numerous times. First it was home, then it was Doyoung’s boyfriend and his little brother. Everything still seemed raw. He snuggled into his sweater helplessly and washed his dish in solitude.

It wasn’t always like this.

Nine months ago, he knew the meaning of alone, but he didn’t feel it.

_[ Jaehyun’s kakaotalk status has been updated: 우주를 줄게 - Bolbbagan4 ]_

**Friday**

Sicheng was walking to his car with the possibility of _maybe_ looking forward to the weekend. This time he could binge another anime series without having to worry about waking up for work.

“Win!”

Maybe not.

“Hm?” Sicheng hummed, clearly not interested in what his friend had in store for him as he unlocked his car.

“I was thinking we could go out for dinner together. There’s a new restaurant that opened downtown and it’s Korean!” Doyoung grinned, leaning against the car looking up at Sicheng.

“Doyoung if you wanted to be in a polyamorous relationship, I would assume you’d invite Taeyong out too. And I decline,” he scoffed playfully, opening the car door. Doyoung barked and gave an incredulous look, closing the ajar door.

“I love you Cheng, but not that much,” he laughed, shaking his head, “Come out, please. I know you’ve been feeding on leftover ready-made meals. I can drop Jeno off to cat-sit Siu Mai too. He loves cats,” he said smiling brightly at Sicheng.

Sicheng’s face remained stoic, partly tired from work and partly looking forward to crashing on his couch with a bowl of barbecue chips and his favorite snuggly hoodie. But Doyoung knew he was right about his dinners. Recently, he had been spending quite a bit at the supermarket stocking up on his daily meals. It was kind of pathetic, but it’s not like his meals were delicious. Not as delicious as they could be. He shook his head at his own thoughts.

He looked up at Doyoung’s pleading eyes and sighed in defeat, “Fine, what time do I have to be there?”

Doyoung’s eyes lit up and his notorious victory smile shone a little too brightly in front of the setting sun, “Well, I’ll pick you up since I’ll be dropping Jeno off. I’ll pick you up at 6, see ya Cheng,” he said with glee, patting Sicheng’s shoulder before walking to his car with a little jig.

If Sicheng wasn’t exhausted, he would’ve thought something was up with Doyoung that day. But he got home, changed out of his work attire and stood in front of his bed, deciding what to wear. Geez. It had been a long time since he had gone out to eat. Or gone out in general. And now he was malfunctioning real time. It was never this hard. Even back home.

Sicheng groaned out loud and let his body collapse onto his bed. He really missed it- what he had.

“I’m so fucking stupid! Hung up on that-” his phone decided to ring at that same time, scaring his tabby off his bed.

Shit. He forgot the time. 6:05 pm.

It seemed that Doyoung had called once and hung up. Which only meant he had arrived. He heard several knocks on the door and yelled from his room upstairs as if they could remotely hear.

“I’ll be down!”

“Shit,” he cursed as he shook his head and slipped on a grey maje jacket over his button-up and ran downstairs to open up to his visitors.

“Hey! I called to just let you know I was here, but yeah.”

“Hi Sicheng-hyung!” a deep voice piped up from behind Doyoung and the tall boy waved at him to which he waved back with a warm smile.

“Hey Jeno-! Wow you grew so much since I last saw you,” Sicheng said dazedly as he stepped aside to let them both in.

“Yeah that was three months ago,” Jeno chuckled as he stood looking around for a sign of small body of life.

“Yeah, your stingy brother wouldn’t let me see you because he didn’t want any distractions,” Sicheng pouted. “Absolutely not! I invited you plenty of times but you said you were busy which-” his friend’s voice was drowned out as he moved to look in his kitchen, Sicheng just rolled his eyes, mouthing “excuses” and Jeno quietly laughed. Then Sicheng remembered something. “Mai-mai! Come down,” he called.

“I am not stingy! I’m actually quite generous-” the voice re-emerged from the kitchen after what seemed like a disappointing evaluation.

“Yeah to me and Yong, but everyone else is like, I just got my paycheck yester-” Jeno received a playful smack from his brother and Sicheng laughed. It was nice having company that wasn’t in the form of his three year old cat. He gave a quick rundown on Siu Mai to which Jeno fervently nodded and exclaimed that he just acquired a wide range of knowledge on cats. Feeling relieved, he called for his cat once more.

He spotted his tabby scamper down the stairs and he smiled before Doyoung gave him a once over and motioned towards the door, “Ready?”

Sicheng nodded, bidding Jeno and Mai-mai farewell, the older lead the way to his car. Buckling in, Sicheng let out a small sigh of relief; it had been a long time since he’d been downtown at all. Not that he had forgotten things since he has been living there for a good nine months, but work kept Sicheng busy and his home was cozy.

“It’s been about three weeks since you last stepped out of your house, almost a month Sicheng,” Doyoung said with wide eyes glancing to his side. “You counted?”

“I estimated Sicheng- every time I ask, which is usually every Friday, you always say no-”

“But I did decl-”

“Actually, you didn’t. You declined the thought of being in a polyamorous relationship but you didn’t say no today. Which I’m pleased,” Doyoung says triumphantly, turning the corner and starting to parallel park. “I feel like you only use your car to go to work, get ready-made meals at the supermarket, and take Mai-mai to the vet,” he deadpanned, after successfully parking. He turned off his car and turned towards Sicheng. Sicheng looked outside and saw a long line queuing to get into the restaurant they were going to.

“You know you can always talk to me Winnie,” Doyoung voiced. Winnie was an old nickname he got back in his hometown of Wenzhou after winning first place at dance competitions.

“If something is bothering you…”

“Yeah I know, thanks a lot. It’s nothing really, let’s go inside!” It wasn’t nothing. He broke up with his boyfriend of three years just nine months ago, and that– was still fresh in the heartache he had. They had been really close… but after his ex not feeling like his love for Sicheng was there anymore, Sicheng graduated at that, packed up, and moved to America with Doyoung. He was kind of grateful- well let Sicheng restate that- he was very grateful for Doyoung, who also got a position with him at the dermatology office they work at to this day.

A bonus being that Doyoung had some family already living in the states, including his brother who had planned to move back to Korea later that year for university.

Doyoung’s approval took him out of his flashback and he got out into the chilly night air. “Erm, Doyoung, the line-”

“Follow me Sicheng,” Doyoung said, giving a knowing smile as he flashed what seemed to be an invitation to the host who nodded at him. The host lead them to a room secluded from the front of the main dining area. As he passed through a threshold, he spotted a _Reserved_ sign.

“Doyoung, how did you-”

“Sit down, Sicheng.” Doyoung only beamed as Sicheng looked around in awe at the sparse room filled with other couples.

“Are you sure you didn’t get me here to to be part of polyamory,” Sicheng laughed as a waiter came by and poured some champagne into their glasses, “how did you even RSVP for this place? I thought you said it was new! And what’s with champagne?”

“No, no- and it is new! Just some connections, you know, _Taeyong_. But, champagne because why not?” Doyoung grinned cheekily, somehow Sicheng’s stomach churned but he smiled gratefully. “This place is really nice, Korean you said?”

“Yep! Let’s order, and talk,” Doyoung said, looking through his menu. Sicheng shook his head and shook off the small feeling that tickled his heart as he did the same.

As soon as they ordered, Doyoung looked on brightly at Sicheng who shifted a bit awkwardly in his seat.  


“What.”

“What? I was just admiring your jacket, I haven’t seen you wear that since we were in Seoul,” Doyoung chuckled, sipping at his champagne with raised eyebrows.

Sicheng looked down on himself and suddenly felt the eyes of the restaurant’s atmosphere around him. Feeling flustered, he tugged on it and whispered over the table, “Doyoung, why didn’t you tell me we were coming to a fancy restaurant and especially the VIP area of it-”

“Oh, don’t worry Win! This just a private area, it’s fine, it’s not some fancy dinner you know. It’s Korean food after all. You can’t really make good Korean food too fancy-fancy,” Doyoung waved Sicheng off, who rolled his eyes and crossed his arms on the table. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I’m not dressed that formal either.” Doyoung’s words were true and he sighed quietly. The feeling of antsiness disappeared as soon as appetizers started piling onto the small table for two.

“Let’s dig in- so Win…”

“Mmm?” Sicheng hummed, picking up his eating utensils to dig into the savory aroma of kimchi stew. Oh god had he missed this.

“Do you have any plans for vacation?”

Sicheng chuckled, placing a pan-fried anchovy into his mouth and merely shaking his head, “No, that isn’t on my mind for another four or five months? You know how I’ve planned this year out already, why are you asking?”

He didn’t pick up Doyoung fiddling with his chopsticks until he looked up. “I was just asking genuinely Win. A little vacation wouldn’t _hurt_ you. You’re like the Head Doc’s favorite and he _literally_ almost always asks you to do things for him, like not secretary things,” Doyoung groaned, now waving the traditional elongated spoon around flimsily.

“Hey watch it- and aren’t we all doctors here-”

“You know what I mean-!”

Sicheng laughed, “Yeah, but still. My answer is no. I’m not moving my ass anywhere from the office until August, like I planned for Italy.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” Doyoung snipped, plopping the last morsel of the napa cabbage kimchi banchan he finished all by himself, into his mouth and sitting back with a smirk on his face. He felt offended he wasn’t quick enough to steal a piece. But more importantly, Sicheng felt his blood chill at his friend’s expression. He never wore that expression unless he was up to something. And that may have been just what he was up to.

“Doyoung…”

“Well, for the record, since you’re not developing any plans to stop watching anime for 72 hours straight- I’ve already booked a flight to Japan for next month.” Sicheng’s mouth dropped open. He hadn’t expected Doyoung to suddenly go on vacation- it wasn’t sudden, but the thought of traveling outside of the little quaint town or vicinity was fresh to him. Nine months and none of them had budged or bothered to venture since.

“But-”

“I already notified head Doc about it and he said it was fine because we have two new interns coming in as well as someone to replace Rebecca,” Doyoung mentioned just in the nick of time their dishes came interrupting Sicheng’s train of thought for a moment.

“Let’s eat!”

“But, wait, you’re like, going already? Like traveling?” Sicheng said dumbly, dropping the spoon he had just picked up gently onto his plate.

“Yeah? Almost a year now, c’mon Sicheng. We- I need a vacation. And it’s almost summer so you know how it’s like with patients,” Doyoung waves his chopsticks around, thankful that Sicheng hadn’t been to hung up on his little slip-up.

“Uh-huh… but I thought you promised we would spend part of the summer at the camping grounds? With Jeno and all,” Sicheng muttered, placing some _pajeon_ (scallion pancake) into his mouth in thought. It wasn’t really like it for Doyoung to do things on a whim. They both had talked about the camping trip since before they moved to the U.S. It wasn’t new. Unless, that is, Doyoung was hiding something.

Which he was sure he wasn’t... right?

“Actually, since Jeno, is going to return to Korea for university, he got offered a full-ride scholarship at one of the SKY programs for film! Isn’t that really great?” Doyoung beamed at him happily. Maybe something was slightly off to Sicheng. Not that the exciting news wasn’t off putting but just everything at the moment...

“And Jeno will be with us for just two mo- I me-”

And Sicheng’s gut punched itself right.

“Wait, us? What do you mean us...”

“Wait, I meant, Jeno and I-”

“_Doyoung~_” and just his whine got Doyoung mute. His power. Truly.

A resigned sigh came and then Doyoung put his utensils down, finally taking the chance to look up at him.

“You’re coming to Japan with me for two weeks- hey! It isn’t bad and you need a-”

“Doy-” Sicheng almost raised his voice before he glanced around and whispered harshly, “oung-! What in the name of the hippocratic oath were you thinking! You can’t possibly-” Sicheng huffed, “wait- you can’t ask for vacation without my-”

“But _Dong Sichengg~_! Doctor Dong! Doctor Cheng- Winnie-”

“Don’t call me that Do, I’m going in straight tomorrow-”

“We don’t have work tomorrow-”

“Going to call the office and doctor-”

“But I already bought the two tickets-”

“You can take Jeno with you instead- he’s on spring break too-”

“But you don’t understand, I booked them a week after-”

“Too bad! I won’t,” Sicheng breathed. “You didn’t even consent with me on this and you know how I want to be with-” Sicheng paused at the sight of Doyoung looking crestfallen. He can’t be blamed? Doyoung had planned a trip to the area where he swore he needed a break from since he moved and now he was fumbling with the receipts for the responsibility.

Somewhere in the back of his head a voice just whispered, _It won’t hurt…_

“Doyoung-”

“I’m sorry, it was completely-”

“Let me call Boss tomorrow-”

“No, Sicheng you-”

“And tell him I’ll be taking two weeks off.”

Doyoung’s head suddenly snapped up, “Wait, really? I mean-”

“Yes, hyung. I will go with you,” Sicheng’s sigh turned into a small smile as the male across him mimicked his expression. “Wow, Sicheng, I don’t mean to pressure you-” Sicheng raised his eyebrows, “Pressure _me_? Oh boy, Doyoung, you don’t even know.”

They both pealed with laughter and returned to eating. Sicheng ate up his galbi tang and let his eyes roam around once more. The atmosphere felt familiar, almost like a haze from a different place.

“So when’s the departure date?”

“In a month Doc,” Doyoung said wiping his mouth and waving for a waiter.

Sicheng put down his chopsticks and wiped his mouth and spoke, “A month it is Doctor Kim.”

_[ Excerpt from Jaehyun’s phone notes:_  
I wonder why I still think of you. On days like these.  
When the sun’s smiling or when the storms frowns upon me. I can’t keep this feeling away forever.]

**Arrival: Gate 14**

Sicheng’s guts were still a bit twisted long after the plane landed at HND airport and he had to clutch onto Doyoung’s jacket, letting himself get dragged to the baggage claim.

It wasn’t that flying made him sick, it was just the sick association he made to planes, flying, and everything in the sky maybe…

He recalled crying in the bathroom stall before he heard the muffled announcement of his flight. Sicheng hadn’t had the time to shed tears throughout the whole ordeal. From the night of the break up to dealing with moving documents and all. Jungwoo standing at his door with his box of things, looking at him sympathetically, feeling sorry as he dropped Jaehyun’s things into his arms. It was a whole mess. Their mutual friends were torn, and their breakup caused a rift.

Though, he didn’t keep in as much contact with Jaehyun’s friends, no harsh feelings were held onto.

He doesn’t remember clearly what it was, but it was just outburst after outburst from one issue to another. The little things that they once loved about each other itched and clawed at their sides like thorns. The words he dreamed of never uttering spilled out and the mutual agreement made him run out of his apartment that day.

Sicheng clutched onto the only thing he didn’t put into the box of Jaehyun’s things, his soft velour hoodie.

Almost like nostalgia brought him back in a time capsule, his hand instinctively ran down the hoodie’s soothing texture at the moment while his other hand held onto his luggage.

“Let’s check into our hotel, get some rest, then go out for some food at this really good udon restaurant, and then we can go sightseeing. What do you think?” Doyoung piped, turning to look at him from the side.

Sicheng nodded dumbly as his thoughts faded from his memories and into the present. The smells of the city and Japanese cuisine flooded his senses all of a sudden and a smile spread across his face.

“Let’s,” Sicheng responded cheerfully; maybe this trip would help him overcome his muddled memories and past pains.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

A figure called out order after order and glanced around the space of the bustling food business. The figure has just a pinch of time to sigh to himself. He instinctively ran a hand through his hair and bit back a smile. _He was getting somewhere. Just like-_

“Jung! We got a special order request from table 4!”

The owner disappeared behind the kitchen doors before his thoughts were completed. He only wished the day he would meet the person would come closer.

“Alright, just grab more onions, we’re going to caramelize them and grab some radishes. You can chop them up and I’ll add these three after for you.”

“Yes chef!”

Jaehyun sighed and took a breath. _1, 2, 3, breath out._ He grabbed a cutting board and turned on one of the stoves. The night was still long.  
  
  


•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•  
  
  


The week went by in a flash, well for Sicheng at least. Both (Doyoung mostly) had specifically created an itinerary for each day of the first week in Tokyo.

They started with the historical sites like the Imperial Palace and East Garden to Nakamise, one of the oldest shopping centers in Japan, to the renowned Buddhist temple, the Sensō-ji. Hit the convenience stores for snacks and stuffed themselves with sushi, ramen, coco curry, and the various vending machines dotted through the bubbling city. Halfway through the week, Sicheng dragged Doyoung to some bars to let loose from all the sightseeing.

The end of the week was spent passing through the Shibuya crossing and enjoying their afternoons in special cafes.

It wouldn’t be his gut telling him something was off if not for Doyoung taking him to go shopping sporadically. At one point, Sicheng thought that Doyoung had wanted to clear his to-buy list so he wouldn’t forget (or worse, empty his wallet before the two weeks).

But it was Saturday night. Doyoung had gone to the bathroom to fix his hair for whatever reason and was monopolizing it. And Sicheng needed to pee _really_ badly.

He knocked rapidly, “Doyoung-hyung~ Hurry! I need to piss.”

“I’m not done yet-!”

“But-!”

“Okay-!” Doyoung whipped the door open and discreetly slid his phone behind his back pocket. Sicheng raised an eyebrow.

“You know if you were planning to have a one night stand…”

“NO!” Doyoung blushed and vehemently denied, “It’s not that! It was actually my brother-”

Sicheng’s stomach wrenched and he nodded numbly before rushing inside the small room to relieve himself, “Yeah, I gotta go pee!”

He shut the door behind him and sighed quietly to himself. _Gongmyung._

That was Doyoung’s brother. And also, his ex’s ex. He slowly collapsed over the toilet seat and felt tears brim at his eyes. His kidney spared him while he silently wiped the salty drops from his cheeks.

He was over it. _Right?_ He definitely didn’t hold any grudges against Gongmyung, but it was just the thought of him moving on from their three year relationship like that. He had felt bitter about it if he were honest. But at the age of 28, he had far matured such childish feelings.

“You alright in there Sicheng?”

Suddenly he felt his kidney squeeze, reminding him of his purpose in there. “Y-yeah! Just found myself so attractive in this lighting,” he lied through his teeth.

He heard Doyoung’s tsk and he cleared his mind before returning back outside.

“Gongmyung’s getting married...wow..” he heard Doyoung from beside his own twin bed.

“_What?_” and the familiar gut feeling came back. God curse his gut and his inclinations. Goosebumps crawled up his skin remembering how Jaehyun would slip his slender fingers in between his own to whisper about-

“And you were going to tell me _when? Tomorrow? _ Sunday-?” Sicheng began, riled up.

“Oh- woah woah, I-”

“Doyoung, don’t tell me you didn’t know about this just now. You’re his brother for god-sakes.” Sicheng was fuming by now. He turned to glare at his best friend.

“Listen. Hear me out Cheng.”

“...” _Patience._

Sicheng ran a hand over his face, “Go on.”

“Gongmyung informed me about his wedding back in November, when he proposed. And he and his wife had planned for a nice spring wedding by the summer house by the beaches. Anyways,” Doyoung licked his lips nervously, “he asked me to go help and be one of his guest speakers and groomsmen. Well, since I couldn’t really be there in person, I did help with things over the internet etcetera…”

“Uh-huh.”

“And well, I wanted to bring you along… I’m-” before Doyoung could finish Sicheng engulfed him into a hug.

“I’m so happy for you and your brother. Congratulations to him,” Sicheng breathed, pulling away with a small smile.

“Wait… you’re not mad?” Doyoung gasped.

“I am, Dodo bird. But,” he shook his head a bit, “tell me next time of all the plans, please?” he added a little giggle.

Something inside still didn’t feel right to him, he should be really happy and elated for his best friend. Why was he feeling anxious and relieved at the same time?

“I’m sorry Cheng, I was just a little worried. The flight-”

“No, tell me,” he said, laying a hand on Doyoung’s moving wrist. His heart sped up beat by beat.

“Sicheng-”

“Just say it hyung, I’m not affected anymore,” he let out a slight faux laugh. “Seriously.”

“I was worried about you and Jaehyun. I mean, I know he’s invited as well, but I’m not even sure if he’s going to show up because he runs, _that_, restaurant-”

“A one star Michelin restaurant, yeah Doyoung. Don’t tiptoe around the topic so much, I’m fine,” he continued lying.

“Yeah… well, Yuta will be there! You remember him right? Oh and so will Donghyuck…”

Doyoung’s voice faded into Sicheng’s subconscious yet his heart stayed erratic. Was he secretly looking forward and hoping that Jaehyun would be there? He was delusional. Just maybe.

“Will Taeyong and Jeno be there?” Sicheng raised an eyebrow.

“Yong couldn’t make it because of work and Jeno, arrived yes-ter-day,” Doyoung treaded on. 

Sicheng snorted quietly and simply fell back on his own twin bed.

“So when’s takeoff?”

“1:13 pm, we’re going to arrive just in time for the bachelor’s party, which we won’t have to go to by the way-”

“Doyoung!” Sicheng snorted louder, “I don’t have anything to wear! Did you realize the consequences of your actions, geez-”

“Actually, I already have your suit tailored. We’re picking that up tomorrow in place of the err, party.”

Sicheng’s head was spinning for bit, still trying to process this all. He let out a little laugh.

“What?” Doyoung asked meekly.

“You could’ve packed my bag for me, too.”

“On it right now.”

He already felt the air sickness before the flight the next day. He shut his eyes and readied himself for the next week.

•─•

**ICN 3:34 pm**

“Home sweet home!” Doyoung cried in glee, unbeknownst to the male beside him slightly fumbling around like a faun.

“Home?” Sicheng teased, finally steadying himself against his luggage.

“First home, sweet, first home,” Doyoung chuckled, “happy?”

“Maybe so,” Sicheng chuckled back.

Here was to crazy friends and a healing heart.

•─•

Jaehyun nervously awaited and fidgeted behind the kitchens, sneaking a peak every once in a while to glance at the critics eating his food.

_His food_. He was brought back a night spent spoon-feeding his experimental dishes and dancing drunkenly to faint music in the background in his apartment. His heart palpitated quickly.

The memories… would they ever match the person now? The Sicheng now?

The corner of his lips turned down ever so slightly before a “chef!” echoed into his mind and then his periphery, waking him up.

“Yes Mark?”

“The critics,” a deep breath, “they,” another huff, “they said-”

“Breath, Mark,” Jaehyun chuckled, patting his youngest employee.

“They loved it! They want to talk to you!”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The wedding was a big sigh for his blood-pumping organ and a joy for him as well. Watching the union and the happiness radiate everywhere definitely raised his mood and outlook.

Why did he sound 30? He almost choked on his own saliva. He _was_ two years young of 30 and the taunting “Old! you’re old!” words echoed inside his cranium. But it also wasn’t wrong, he had surpassed most of his early adult phase. He had no doubt thought about a family several times.

Several times when he was still taken. He remembers shaking his head and tipping his champagne flute from side to side before taking a contemplative sip from it.

The day after the wedding, when the rest of the Kims held a brunch for all the relatives who traveled far, Doyoung was obligated to spend most, if not the rest of his week with said relatives.

_“You have the rest of the week off now, so if you want to hit anyone up or go anywhere, shoo!” Doyoung replied nonchalantly, throwing on a jean jacket._

_“Kicking me out, too? I thought you said you would spare me all the deets Doctor,” Sicheng yawned, getting up to stretch._

_“You can stay in my apartment-”_

_“Wasn’t on planning on going anywhere else-”_

_“Funny. Anyways, I’ll see you back here on Saturday for the farewell party! Be there-”_

_“Or be a polygon. Got it.”_

_“-that’s not the same thing. And don’t try to fuck in my apartment, please-“ Sicheng guffawed at the prospect and flicked his wrist at Doyoung lazily._

_“Not like I would-“_

_“You never know Sicheng! Take care and bye!” Doyoung said with a mysterious glint in his eyes before he closed the door._

He was confined to Doyoung’s temporarily stocked fridge and nothing else. The male thought: he wasn’t 30 (yet). An idea struck him and he threw on the “god-forbidden old soft relic” hoodie he clutched onto firmly through the trip. Sicheng had one place in mind for the night.

•─•

Walking to the internet cafe he always used to visit during cram weeks flooded him with nostalgia. _Holding hands with one person-_

“Ugh,” Sicheng made a face of disgust. What were his feelings? They were all over the place. It was as if someone decided to play balloon darts on him, except the balloons were filled with paint. _Love me, love me not._ His heart tugged this way and that, all through this trip he thought it would help move his emotions off the tambourine ride at E-world.

A smile he had been holding down for so long resurfaced, thinking about the latter’s warm hands and smile.

“Gosh, dammit,” he muttered, feeling his face warm not from the crowded street but from the one person. But would he still feel the same? It was nine months and things have changed so much for them both. He wouldn’t lie if someone asked him if he still followed his ex. The secret smiles he hid behind the velour hoodie seeing the famous killer dimples on social media posts and nights he dreamed of being by his side again. _He was disgusting._

The nostalgia really hit him hard core as he entered, mind still floating above in the clouds. Soft laughter as shoulders bumped and-

“Sorry,” he mumbled turning to bow at the person he just coincidentally bumped into.

“It’s oka- Si-Sicheng?”

Sicheng slowly raised his head and made eye contact with the one person on his mind the whole time.  
  


─  


They ended up at the small quaint cafe not so far from the cyber cafe sitting across from each other. Both holding Americanos they both awkwardly looked down at their hands, letting the silence consume them. He could feel the jitteriness come from Jaehyun’s aura and he knew he was just the same. Who would go first?

“You-”  
“You-”  
“No, you-”  
“No, you go-”

Sicheng bit back giggle, he had to be serious.

“If you insist-”  
“Fine-”

They both broke into a fit of giggles, unable to hold it back anymore. As their laughter calmed down, the air around them started to feel awfully warm and nostalgic. Almost as if a light veil of comfort was laid upon them.

“Sicheng…”

“Jaehyun…”

The names rolled off both their tongues so naturally, as if neither of them had been separated for nine months over thousands of miles and an entire ocean.

“Should I start?” Jaehyun’s baritone voice soothed the flitty tension. Sicheng sank into his seat and nodded.

“Well... I’ve just been running my restaurant now. I’ve opened a branch in Daegu and plan on opening another in Jeju soon,” (Sicheng wants to say _‘I know, I saw. I wanted to congratulate you truly’_) “and that’s been life. Single and successful,” Jaehyun’s laugh rumbled and his eyes turned into crescents.

Sicheng hummed. “Wait. I mean, I’m single, and I’m successful. Like those are two separate statements, they’re not really correlated-”

The dermatologist chortled at the head chef-slash-restaurant owner’s stumble on words. He waved him off, “I get it, Jae..hyun.” If the latter noticed the minuscule bit of hesitation, he didn’t speak of it.  
_Still not quite there yet, Cheng._

“I guess it’s my turn now? Well, I’ve been working at the same office since and I’ve been really busy, trying to take care of Mai-mai and myself. Living off of ready-made meals, you know. The same kind of thing I’d do.”

“Living off those yucky things after you moved to America? You know that’s not healthy!” Jaehyun scolded, eyes narrowed cutely.

Sicheng gulped, “I know! But- you still say yucky?”

“That’s so off topic- is that my hoodie you’re wearing?”

“What.”

Jaehyun’s smirk grew into a smug one and Sicheng felt himself shrink. If only the coffee shop’s chair could swallow him like the saliva traveling down his esophagus.

“N-no.”  
  
“Don’t lie Cheng, I know my hoodie when I see it. Especially after I let Jaemin borrow mine for his insta feed or whatever they call it these days,” Jaehyun shook his head.  
  
“Yeah- well,” he was caught now, “what about it? It’s comfortable! I can’t help myself,” he retorted with a pout.

“Don’t pull that pout on me you know how weak-”

“Yeah, well I’ll do it more!”

They bickered back and forth, poking at each other’s flaws they knew that still hid in the nooks of the spaces they once touched. The warm feeling he harboured came flying back like a cuckoo heading towards the equator looking for more warmth when the seasons wrap around the months.

Jaehyun wasn’t sure how it instantly got hotter in the cafe then in the previous location they were just at. He looked down at Sicheng’s hand resting on the table before looking back up at the man gazing out. His skin tingled with excitement and his hand ached to reach out across the table to place it over his ex’s. _Too soon?_

“So, I assume you were here for Gongmyung’s wedding? I heard it was really pretty and nice. I couldn’t make it to the ceremony and reception, unfortunately, but I did get to stop by shortly for the cocktails…” Jaehyun’s voice trailed off, his eyes moving up to the other’s perplexed look.

“I didn’t see you there? I mean, I think I was pretty drunk? But I was sober enough later on to help out after,” Sicheng admitted embarrassingly, scratching at his head. An old habit that was still endearing.

“Oh yeah. I couldn’t stay long and also left after an hour or two because some critics decided to stop by again.. But- so you were here for the wedding?” Jaehyun asked once more sipping at the last contents of his Americano.

“Well.. you know, it’s actually a funny story. I mean if you don’t mind listening--”

“Yeah-”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

Sicheng swallowed the growing lump in his throat. He had to bring himself to say it before anything else.

“Jaehyun.. it’s been really nice talking to you, reconnecting with you and all. And,” _don’t say it- don’t say it-_ “I think, it would be great to start over as friends.”

It kind of constricted his heart uttering friends, but a sort of relief seemed to exhale itself from his system at the same time.

“Hm? Oh, yeah! Friends, haha,” Jaehyun answered nervously.

Suddenly, it wasn’t so warm anymore. Sicheng feared this. His feelings, his everything, and his whole being who had once loved and devoted itself to this one person for a promised future.

But now… he feared of falling again. Just as he thought their lives would become intertwined again, Sicheng put up a roadblock.

“Sure, I mean, it’s always good to have some connections to some good chefs and restaurants around. You know?” Jaehyun lightly continued, eyes moving back down to anything but Sicheng. _Anything but Sicheng._

Forget it Jae, you were right. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway…

“But, Jaehyun?” Sicheng said in a voice so small he felt his confidence slip away.

“Mmm?” this time Jaehyun hadn’t really bothered to look up. He didn’t mean to be rude, he just spaced out as soon as he heard the word he always dreaded of in his dreams.

“I’m free for the rest of the week, I.. do you think we can hang out?” And maybe try again? Sicheng’s indecisiveness pulled at his reigns and he only wished for what would be the best outcome. A chance, perhaps. But right now, in this moment. Meeting him and facing him- it was a lot to take in.

Jaehyun’s head rose and he blinked. He could leave the restaurant to one of the co-owners, Mingyu.

But that’s only if he would be willing to.

“Really? You want to spend it with me?”

“I- Yeah. Sure, it doesn’t have to be all four days I’m here- but if you-”

“That sounds like a great idea Sicheng. I’m sure there’s a lot you’ve done in the past months,” Jaehyun smiled genuinely, getting up from his seat.

“Thank you- I mean, what am I saying? I meant thanks- I don’t know what I’m saying,” Sicheng fumbled embarrassedly, following suit after Jaehyun.

Jaehyun’s laugh rumbled low again and the underlying zeal bubbled.

“I’ll text you then? Wait, I changed numbers after moving,” Sicheng realized as he pulled out his phone for Jaehyun.

“Oh, I changed my number as well because of business stuff and all,” Jaehyun surmised, throwing his drink out as they walked out of the quiet cafe.

“Okay, you’re all set. I’ll text you tomorrow morning about details? And plans then?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Nice… I’ll, see you tomorrow Jaehyun. It was nice seeing your face again,” the Chinese mumbled softly as he waved to him one last time before walking back.

“Yeah! I’ll see you,” the latter called after the dwindling figure. “It was really nice seeing you, Cheng,” he breathed, eyes lingering on Sicheng before turning his way.

The Michelin chef felt his hopes wind and die in just a moment. The uncertainty and prospects of their future, it felt so risky. He couldn’t really read Sicheng in just that period of time, and he wasn’t sure what to expect tomorrow.

He only hoped that he would receive some clearer signs.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

**Saturday, 5:30 pm; one day before Sicheng’s departure******

Honestly, he didn’t know how it escalated to this exact moment but all he knew was that the hot kisses that Sicheng was trailing down his neck and chest felt really right. He raised his hips and let out a moan.

Sicheng’s mussed hair and puffed lips still looked as attractive as ever. His mind wandered to the past two days he had spent with the other.

They had went on walks through the newly blooming trees in the parks they used to go to and Jaehyun had brought him around vendors. It wasn’t anything really special but to Sicheng at least, he “had something to do.”

Jaehyun felt Sicheng move further down and he gasped, clutching at Sicheng’s brown locks.

Jaehyun thought about it all again. It started with the small glances, then it moved to the subtle shoulder bumping, and close proximity as they moved into each other’s spaces. By the end of Thursday when they visited Lotte World for old times’ sake, Sicheng grabbed Jaehyun’s hand to drag him to the food court.

He felt butterflies explode in his stomach and they just got more intimate and intimate. He knew they might be jumping it but both their emotions felt raw and Jaehyun just couldn’t quite get over that.

Jaehyun pulled the latter up to reconnect their lips, this time it was more slow and deep. They took their time to hold each other and relish the feeling of being completed. Almost.

Sicheng pulled away to look at him with teary eyes and Jaehyun started to panic. Possibilities of what could’ve went wrong filing through his thought processes.

“Hey, hey, Chenggie what’s wrong?” another note, they had returned to using nicknames by this morning.

Sicheng broke into a small smile and dived into Jaehyun’s chest to hug him tightly. “Nothing, I’m just emotional because I really missed you. It was so hard trying to move on from you and not love you still. You’re amazing, but much more now and much more lovely…” Sicheng said wiping the little tears.

“The past few days felt like old times and new, and helped me realize that I still.. want to be with you.”

“I’m..” Jaehyun didn’t know how to respond to the sudden confession but he held Sicheng closer. “I’m really glad we bumped into each other. I missed you so much too, it was hard for me too but I know, I still feel the same way for you. Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“Jaehyun?”

“Yes baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

**Forever**

Sicheng and Doyoung stood outside the terminal, waiting to board.

“Can you tell your Valentine boy to hurry up? We have to go to our gate in about 10 minutes,” Doyoung tsked.

Sicheng blushed, “He’s not mine-!”

“Not yet,” Doyoung muttered deviously before edging towards the security barrier, “I’m going in, I’ll see you at Gate 17 Cheng.”

The other male nodded and waved him off before looking around for Jaehyun, growing more anxious by the minute.

“Boo!” a hug from behind caught him off guard.

“Jae! Don’t do that! That really scared me,” the frightened male nearly yelled before turning around and giving the surpriser a proper hug.

“Sorry I ran late, a new chef I was interviewing took a little longer than I’d like-” Jaehyun planted a kiss on Sicheng’s lips, “but I’m here now.”

“Thankfully. I have to go in now though, and check in,” Sicheng said in a sad voice as his hands came to rest around Jaehyun’s neck.

Jaehyun smiled softly and turned to kiss Sicheng’s wrist affectionately, “I love you. You should go in baby, as much as I’d like to hold you in my arms forever.”

“Alright…” Sicheng responded with a similar smile before he leaned in and kissed him. He pulled away and a thought crossed his mind.

“Jaehyun?”

“Mmm?”

“What are we?”

“Baby, we’re whatever you want us to be.”

“Then, I want to be yours.”

“As I’ll be yours as well,” Jaehyun replied, dimples forming from the wide smile across his face as he blew a kiss to the latter. Sicheng ran back quickly to glomp him before pecking him and running towards the security barrier, “Thank you!”

“No need to thank love! Have a safe trip!” Jaehyun called to the retreating figure.

A figure he for sure knew he would one day see again.

**Bonus, **

**  
**

  
** 9:30 am, four months later**

The alarm was ringing. Not a good sign for Sicheng’s sleepy head but a sign nonetheless that he had to get his butt up and go to work.

_Oops._ It was Saturday. 

Sicheng sleepily reached out and muted the alarm as he sat up and yawned.

He rubbed his eyes and saw that he had a few texts from his boyfriend. At once, his day was already going well.

The dermatologist hopped out of bed and toed on his slippers, shuffling towards the kitchen to get himself some coffee. It was a weekend and on weekends, he had the day to himself.

He watched his cat leap onto the counter as he turned on his Keurig, waiting for it to finish up brewing. Just as he was about to take the cup from underneath, a couple knocks interrupted him.

Oh?

Sicheng padded to the front door, his cat tailing him, and opened to face the person.

“A package for Dong See-cheng?”

“Yes, that’s me,” the doctor said, wincing at the mispronunciation. He missed the old Fedex driver who had become habituated to the right pronunciation. Now, he only wished him fun in Hawaii.

“Okay, if you can sign here then.”

After completing the tasks, Sicheng thanked the delivery man and stepped back inside to unwrap what mysterious box he had just gotten.

Could it be?

Sicheng scratched at the faded velour hoodie he had worn to sleep and used his a pair of scissors to open the box. Tearing apart the flaps, a familiar warm feeling entered his heart. He delicately pulled out a familiar red sweater. _Jaehyun’s._

He hugged the sweater to his chest in glee and switched garments so that he would be wearing the new sweater that had just arrived.

The tall male nudged aside the empty box filled with bubble wrap and turned around when he heard a small meow.

“Siu Mai? What’s wrong?” he said looking back at the cat who had pulled out a small slip of paper hidden inside.

“Oh, that’s probably just some receipt or something,” Sicheng shrugged brushing it off. But his cat meowed louder and pawed at his arm.

“What Siu Mai? I told you it was a ticket,” he shook his head at his beloved cat. Sometimes she was persistent on little things and sometimes, she just wanted to play. But after a few pawings at Sicheng’s arm, Sicheng at last relented.

“Fine, fine,” he sighed, picking up the white piece of folded paper. As soon as his eyes landed on the handwriting, his pupils widened as he subconsciously began to read the note aloud to himself.

>   
_‘Here’s a new sweater. Well, I shouldn’t say new haha, but it’s one to replace the old grey one you’ve been wearing for a long time. I would tell you to donate it but knowing you, it’s too dear for you to throw it away. I won’t be surprised to see it in your closet still when I come again. I hope you enjoy my new sweater, or should I say our haha. Take care of it well baby~ I miss you lots, text me when you receive the package. I might be sleeping but who knows, you might be running through my mind as always ♡_
> 
> _Have a great day and take care Cheng ~ You always have my heart.. and my sweaters_
> 
> _XOXO,_
> 
> _Jaehyunnie_
> 
> _until we meet again, Love,  
D-114’_

**Author's Note:**

> 11pronounced exactly like the Chinese dim sum dish, "shew"[return]
> 
> Inspiration on for the hoodies; I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> 1st Hoodie: <https://twitter.com/NCT_Fashion/status/1067761760256503808>
> 
> 2nd Hoodie: <https://twitter.com/seviskencivciv/status/1007099227032260609>
> 
> • the plot was supposed to revolve around the hoodie but it kind of changed throughout as i was writing? i hope you enjoyed this mess nonetheless though :o  
• i found a prompt/plot online that i hoped would fulfill ella's wishes! but alas  
(original: "yes, i know this is your sweatshirt and that we broke up five months ago but it’s really comfy okay. i totally don’t wear it because like it still smells like you or is the only thing that even remotely feels like home since i moved out. pfft. absolutely not) I had a realization about the timeline and how it does not really line up appropriately so excuse me-- as I change 5 months to like 9 months.
> 
> ps: i also chose jaehyun’s sweater bc it looked the most comfiest and softest h


End file.
